US Navy welcomes the USS Insane Obama

May 31, 2010 Vancouver , BC . Headed for Seattle, WA., the US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.

The USS Barack Insane Obama (OVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Emir Obama for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while acting as president.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and nationality.

This crew is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs!

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict, the USS Obama has orders to seek refuge in one of its namesake’s countries of origin, Canada . The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters on Lake Michigan for photo-ops. Former Speaker Botox and the Ayres family trust should be very proud.